Rough Day

Yesterday was a particularly hard one as we got exactly zero positive news from my appointment. Lena's fluid is all the way down to 0.5 (normal is above 2 and all three of the other babies are in the upper 3's/lower 4's), and her blood flow continues to be an issue. In addition to my cervix being consistently 17 mm yesterday, my blood pressure is still high and there was protein in my urine, all of which are indicators for possible preterm labor. Because of all of these factors, Dr. Grant advised me to come to my appointment on Friday with a bag packed for the hospital, as he might send me for another mag drip. As unenthusiastic as I am about the potential of another round of the magnesium, I will absolutely do it if it's what's best for Lena. Because I'm on the lower dose of the indocine and both her fluid level and my cervix continue to be an issue, we will likely need to try something that would be easier on her and still calm my uterus and cervix down. So, I'm preparing myself for a rotten weekend, but it's absolutely okay. I would (obviously!) do anything to protect those babies and fight as hard as I can for sweet Lena girl, even if it means feeling like I've been run over by a truck for a couple of days.

In addition to the facts, Dr. Grant was again very honest about all of the things that could happen in the next few weeks, none of which are too exciting to think about. Because we are at 22 weeks today, we HAVE to keep these babies in for two more weeks to give any of them a shot at life. If my body doesn't get it together, it could force labor sooner than that and we would lose all of them. If my body can make it for another couple of weeks and would then go into preterm labor, there's still no guarantee that the babies could make it outside of the womb, but at least they would have a chance. And because of her fluid levels and blood flow issues, Lena may not make it at all, and we could lose her in utero at any point. So, we're feeling pretty discouraged, defeated, and exhausted right now, to be honest, and praying for miracles left and right.

Sorry this is so short, but I just wanted to give all of you faithful prayer warriors, encouragement senders, and sweet supporters the latest news from the Beydler Bunch. We appreciate you all so, so much and are continually comforted by your kindness to us. We also take comfort in God's grace to us and know that he holds all things together, even when it feels like they are falling apart around us. No matter what happens in the days ahead, we are confident that Jesus is near to us and fighting for us and that we are not walking this road alone. Not only has he provided this amazing support system that you all are to us, but he himself is faithful, and in him we find rest, even on the darkest of days.