Some Other Things We've Learned.

Good morning!

I don't have anything new or different to report today (which is a good thing right now...boring and stable is my favorite!), but for those of you who may be interested, I thought I might post about all the fun stuff we've learned in the week we've been here. Hold onto your hats...I'm a fountain of knowledge today! :)

Obviously the first obstacle we're facing is keeping the babies in for as long as possible. There are two things that could cause them to do the C-Section right away, and that would be the babies' health (are they in distress, would it be better for them to be out as opposed to in at this point, etc.) and then my health (have I gone preeclamptic and it's no longer safe for any of us that they remain in). The third thing that could send us to delivery would be if my body just goes into preterm labor and they can't stop it. That's the one that scares me the most, and I'm praying that my uterus and cervix can just hold it together until the doctors decide it's time. I'm not having very many contractions (that I can feel anyway) and my blood pressure has been really good for the most part, so I'm hoping that means I'm not going to be the one to cause the babies to come too soon.

Now that we've reached viability, each baby has a 50% chance of survival. Every week after this gains us 10% on survival odds, so I'm still pulling for 30 weeks. The doctors have all said they're going for 29, but I say, "go big or go home." And I don't plan to go home for at least 6 more weeks, so we're going big. :) Mavis, Amos, and Oliver are all doing amazingly well. They are gaining weight, have great heartbeats, and are constantly moving (which I'm FINALLY starting to be able to feel...amazing!). Because we see them so often, I feel like I have an idea of what their personalities will be like, so it will be fun to see if I'm right or not. Mavis is totally going to be our typical oldest child, type A, mother hen (we'll see how that goes over with Jeremiah). She's strong and feisty and holding up the fort and is also a total people pleaser. Anytime the sonographer needs her in a different position she quickly obliges as if she can hear what is being asked of her and obeys accordingly. Totally her father's daughter. :) The two boys, on the other hand, are going to be just like me. Ornery enough to keep life interesting, but sweet enough to get away with it (I'm the youngest and am fully aware of the power I've always held in being so). :) Amos is so super sweet. He's always cuddly and has his hands up by his face, begging to be held and squeezed and loved (and also I've always thought he looks just like Nick. He has the most beautiful profile and is always willing to show it off, but this week we got to see a 3D view of him, and my thoughts about him having his daddy's face were totally confirmed!). He's also a pleaser and literally does whatever is needed of him by the sonographer without her ever having to ask. It's like he knows what's coming next and is like, "oh, you want my heartbeat? Let me turn ever so slightly so you can get it. Oh, now you'd like to see me fill my stomach and bladder? Coming right up!" But also, he and Oliver are in a constant wrestling match. All. The. Time. If they're not headbutting each other, they're kicking each other, and if they aren't kicking each other, one of them has their elbow in the other's face. Such little boys already. Oliver strikes me as a typical middle child. He is always in the other kids' pictures as if to say, "don't forget about me! I'm here too! Aren't I so cute? Look at my foot! Or my hand! Or my face! Or even my tiny cute baby buns! Just look at me!!" I will always look at you, buddy. Promise, promise.

Sweet little Lena, on the other hand...I worry about her so much. The doctors have been really honest with us that because the other babies are doing so well, there could come a point where we could lose her, but would need to let it be to allow the other babies the opportunity to continue growing and have a greater chance at survival outside of the womb. That possibility weighs heavy on us and every day we get with her is such a gift. The doctors just came in to do their daily look at the babies and she's still got a strong heartbeat! Praise God!! Again, every day is a gift. She's been curled up in her same little spot for at least 8 weeks, not moving much, but fighting so, so hard to keep on keepin' on. She's our tiny peanut girl who will get away with anything and everything because she's had to fight so hard to make it, and her daddy and I will totally let her. Emotionally, she has been the hardest part of this pregnancy. How do you hold on to hope, knowing that God absolutely can sustain her, but also prepare for the worst, knowing that medically the cards are stacked against her? How do you mourn her set backs and challenges and still celebrate the other babies victories? We just love her so much and the thought of losing her is so devastating, but I know that the fact that by the grace of God my body has kept three of the four babies thriving is nothing to take for granted either. It is a super weird place to be in, but at the end of the day, we just cling to what we know and that is the Truth that God is good. And he is good no matter what. He loves this tiny girl who he created more than Nick or I ever could, and for that we are so grateful. If he chooses to take her back before we get to raise her, we know that it is for her good and His glory, and we rest in knowing that by doing so he is saving her from a life of pain. In the midst of our own pain, we can praise Him for that. Only God knows what the future holds, and in the middle of our uncertainty, that brings us more peace than we can explain. So we wait, and we pray, and we trust that God CAN pull Lena through this but if he doesn't, we'll all be okay. It will hurt and we will mourn, but we serve a God who weeps with us and walks through pain with us, and we will eventually all be okay.

So this actually turned into a fountain of my own thoughts and musings as opposed to what we've learned, so maybe I'll save our NICU info for another day! I know I say this a whole lot, but it just can't be said enough. Thank you. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you. The outpouring of love you all have shown us is jaw-dropping, and we so desperately wish we could thank you all properly. Every share, "like", and comment on Facebook; every card, care package, and trinket for Jeremiah that comes in the mail; every text, call and voicemail - all of it is received with such gratitude and is such an encouragement to this tired mommy and daddy. Please know that. We didn't anticipate this. We didn't plan for this. To be honest, we didn't want this (nobody wants four children at a time...that's just insanity!). I honestly started this blog as a way to keep our out of town friends and family up to speed on what was going on (and also make some jokes about getting on Ellen or the Today Show), and I'm overwhelmed that it's turned into this crazy forum where strangers have become friends and the family of God has rallied around us in ways we couldn't have ever imagined. Thank you for reminding us that we are not alone. We thank God for each of you and can't wait until these babies are here and we can tell them about all of the people who prayed them through this pregnancy safely.