Little Lena

So many of you have been so faithful to follow along on this wild journey and check in with and pray for us, and we are so thankful! Sorry that I didn't get a post up on Friday after my appointment...I got home right before Jeremiah did, so I've been soaking up some sweet time with him this weekend.  I swear that every time he's gone for a few days he comes home bigger, smarter, and funnier than he left, which is just rude. Also rude? We've been playing round after round of Go Fish, Zingo, and Spot It, and he legitimately beats us 9 times out of 10 in all three games. Good thing he's so sweet or we might actually get our feelings hurt that we're getting creamed by a four year old. :)

Having Jeremiah home was good for so many reasons, one of which was that he's a nice distraction for us after a kind of rough appointment on Friday. My cervix is doing ok-ish. It was as long as 38 at one point (huzzah!) but then as short as 18 the next second (bummer), which means I was having contractions and still not feeling them (the scary part of that for me is that if I'm not feeling them, I may not know if they pick up and the babies are in danger and I should be getting to the hospital).The good news is that my cervix is still not opening up past the cerclage, so we are praising God that the surgery was successful and is keeping those babies cooking for as long as possible.

Mavis, Amos, and Oliver continue to do great! We are so thankful for their health and that they are growing and getting what they need to survive and thrive in utero, which is setting them up for success in the outside world as well. Unfortunately, little Lena didn't have a good report again. Her fluid level was down, which we can do something about by reducing the indocine to twice a day, so I'm not super worried about that. The part that scares me is that her blood flow is a concern again, and for that there's nothing medically they can do for her. So, please keep praying for her health and safety - it will absolutely be the thing that keeps her alive and fighting, and we can't thank you enough for holding all seven Beydlers up during this time, especially that tiny peanut. Dr. Grant gave me some scenarios and options that might become an issue in a few weeks, and to be honest they are scary and overwhelming. It is most certainly not a guarantee, but he wanted to give us the chance to pray and process should any of those issues arise, rather than spring them on us if it happens. As hard as it is to hear those things, I am so very grateful for a doctor who is honest with us and also believes in the power of prayer - both to change situations that seem medically impossible but also to give everyone involved peace and comfort should hard decisions have to be made.

As far as my health goes, I'm physically doing okay for now. The one thing we're having to monitor pretty closely is my blood pressure. The last several times they've taken it has been right when I get there, and it's always through the roof. They check it again after the ultrasound when I've been laying down for a while, and it's always totally fine at that point. We are hopeful that I'm just nervous about the babies before I see them, and that is the cause of the elevated blood pressure. They have only been checking it every 10 days or so, but will start to do that every time I go in from now on, which I'm thankful for. I would much rather know what's going on every few days than be uncertain for a week or two at a time.

I'm holding on to hope that Tuesday will be a better report. To be honest, I truly didn't know if we would make it this far. 21.5 weeks!! That's incredible (I mean, it hasn't been a walk in the park, but I've had four babies in my belly for five months, and that's pretty awesome), and I don't want to take one day with these babies for granted. I know they are a gift, and as scary as it is to think about the future (both getting them here safely and also parenting four infants and a preschooler at the same time), we are trying so hard to take it one day at a time. Statistically speaking, these babies should have never existed, nor should they have all made it this far, so I am resting in the knowledge that God loves them more than Nick or I ever could and that he has a plan for them. No matter what the plan is, I am so blessed to be their mommy for as long as I get to be, and for that I will always be thankful.